Insights into childhood wounds are important, but not enough. People need to learn to let
go of counterproductive behaviors and replace them with more effective ones. This exercise
will help you to:
- Make a commitment to stay together….
- Help you to act as allies not enemies
- Lead you to a path of spiritual and psychological growth
- Create a relationship vision to become friends and helpmates
- Show you how to end power struggles when differences are not resolved
This will help you artificially reconstruct the conditions of romantic love. When two people
treat each other the way they did in happier times, they begin to identify each other as a
source of pleasure once again
List positive, specific ways your husband/wife can please you
Example: “I would like a fifteen minutes massage while I am watching TV”
OR
“I would like you to bring me breakfast in bed on Sunday mornings”
Grant each other a certain number of these behaviors a day no matter how you feel
about each other
- Go home makes your lists and volunteer to give each other three to five of those
behaviors each day. As gifts - Pleasuring each other is not to be used as a bartering tool
- DO NOT keep score
- Focus on the giving end of the equation
- Increase the times per day you ACT romantic to FEEL safer and more loved
Why will this work….”instead of this is a man who hurts me or ignores me…this is a man who nurtures me” or “instead of a woman who wishes I would disappear…this is a woman who loves me and wants me with her”.